Digest

Matt Chandler, lead pastor of The Village Church, opens up about his personal journey of hitting a wall in leadership, recovering from brain cancer, and revitalizing a dying church. He describes the low-grade agitation he experienced in his late 30s, a feeling of being dead inside, and the realization that he needed help. He shares his experience with intensive therapy and the importance of mourning past losses, particularly the lack of affection from his father. Chandler also recounts his experience with brain cancer, the emotional and spiritual struggles he faced, and the profound impact it had on his empathy for others. He then discusses his leave of absence from ministry following an inappropriate exchange of Instagram messages with a woman, emphasizing the importance of avoiding consistent interaction with women outside of one's wife. Chandler also reflects on the power imbalance inherent in his position as a senior pastor and the need for leaders to be aware of their influence. He concludes by sharing insights on his enduring marriage with Lauren, highlighting the importance of creating space for her growth and using her gifts, and the practice of making her his first call when unexpected time opens up. He also emphasizes the importance of living out the gospel in everyday life, sharing a story of a dentist in his church who is making a profound impact on the lives of a family rescued from trafficking. This episode offers valuable lessons for leaders navigating difficult seasons, the importance of grace in ministry, the need for self-awareness and humility, and the importance of prioritizing relationships in the midst of busy schedules.

Outlines

00:00:00

Introduction

This Chapter introduces Matt Chandler, lead pastor of The Village Church, and the topics to be discussed in the podcast episode. It also includes a brief advertisement for the Art of Leadership Live event and Ballet, a virtual assistant service for pastors.

00:01:30

Early Life and Calling to Ministry

This Chapter delves into Matt Chandler's childhood, marked by a father who struggled with alcoholism and explosive fits, and a mother who adhered to strict religious rules. He discusses how this upbringing shaped his personality and his early experiences in ministry, including a challenging student pastor role and a pivotal encounter with a friend who affirmed his calling.

00:15:35

Hitting the Wall in Leadership

This Chapter explores Matt Chandler's experience of hitting a wall in leadership in his late 30s. He describes the low-grade agitation he felt, the disconnect he experienced with others, and the realization that he was emotionally and spiritually depleted. He shares his journey of seeking help, undergoing intensive therapy, and the importance of mourning past losses.

00:28:19

Revitalizing a Dying Church

This Chapter focuses on Matt Chandler's experience revitalizing a dying church, Highland Village First Baptist Church. He describes the challenges he faced, including infighting, loss of hope, and risk aversion. He shares his approach to change, emphasizing the importance of honoring the past while embracing the new, and the crucial role of mentors and allies in the process.

00:47:00

Interruptions to Ministry: Brain Cancer

This Chapter recounts Matt Chandler's experience with brain cancer, diagnosed on Thanksgiving morning 15 years ago. He describes the initial shock, the emotional and spiritual struggles he faced, and the profound impact it had on his empathy for others. He also shares how the experience helped him embrace the good life and the hard life as not mutually exclusive.

00:59:02

Interruptions to Ministry: Instagram Incident

This Chapter discusses Matt Chandler's leave of absence from ministry following an inappropriate exchange of Instagram messages with a woman. He reflects on the lessons he learned, emphasizing the importance of avoiding consistent interaction with women outside of one's wife and the need for self-awareness regarding one's influence as a leader.

01:11:19

Enduring Marriage in Leadership

This Chapter explores Matt Chandler's insights on maintaining an enduring marriage with Lauren, who is also a leader in her own right. He emphasizes the importance of creating space for her growth and using her gifts, and the practice of making her his first call when unexpected time opens up.

01:15:33

Prioritizing Relationships

This Chapter focuses on Matt Chandler's approach to prioritizing his wife, Lauren, in his busy schedule. He shares his practice of giving Lauren the first shot at any open time in his calendar, emphasizing the importance of connecting with her, especially during demanding seasons.

01:17:26

Living Out the Gospel

This Chapter explores Matt Chandler's passion for living out the gospel in everyday life. He emphasizes the importance of embracing the present moment and the unique opportunities it offers. He shares a story of a dentist in his church who is making a profound impact on the lives of a family rescued from trafficking, highlighting the power of ordinary people to make a difference.

Keywords

Q&A

• What are some of the key lessons Matt Chandler learned from hitting a wall in leadership?

  Chandler learned the importance of seeking help when feeling emotionally and spiritually depleted. He also realized the need to mourn past losses, particularly those related to his childhood, in order to move forward. He emphasizes that a dead heart is a warning sign and that seeking help is crucial to prevent further damage.

• How did Matt Chandler's experience with brain cancer impact his empathy for others?

  Chandler's cancer journey deepened his empathy for those facing similar struggles. He can relate to the emotional and spiritual turmoil, the anxiety, and the uncertainty. He now feels a strong desire to be present and offer support to others going through difficult times.

• What are Matt Chandler's thoughts on DMing with women outside of his wife?

  Chandler believes that consistent interaction with women through DMs is too dangerous and unwise. He acknowledges the need for women to have access to male leaders for development but emphasizes the importance of using other channels for communication, such as email, to avoid the potential for misinterpretation and inappropriate familiarity.

• What are some of the key principles Matt Chandler and Lauren have learned about maintaining an enduring marriage in leadership?

  Chandler emphasizes the importance of creating space for Lauren's growth and using her gifts. He also highlights the practice of making her his first call when unexpected time opens up, demonstrating his commitment to her well-being and their relationship.

• What are some of the challenges Matt Chandler faced in revitalizing a dying church?

  Chandler faced challenges such as infighting, loss of hope, and risk aversion. He had to navigate the tension between honoring the past and embracing the new, and he found it crucial to build relationships with key individuals who could guide and support him.

• What are some of the mistakes Matt Chandler made in the early years of revitalizing The Village Church?

  Chandler acknowledges that he was more focused on what he didn't want to be than on what God was calling him to build. He also regrets not prioritizing student ministry in the early years, a mistake he attributes to being overwhelmed with the rapid growth of the church.

• How did Matt Chandler's experience with the Instagram incident impact his understanding of power imbalance?

  The incident made Chandler more aware of the power imbalance inherent in his position as a senior pastor. He recognizes that his words and actions carry more weight than those of others and that he needs to be more mindful of his influence.

• What are some of the key takeaways from Matt Chandler's story for other leaders?

  Chandler's story highlights the importance of self-awareness, humility, and seeking help when needed. It also emphasizes the importance of grace in ministry, the need to be mindful of power dynamics, and the value of building strong relationships with mentors and allies.

• How does Matt Chandler prioritize his wife, Lauren, in his busy schedule?

  Chandler prioritizes Lauren by giving her the first shot at any open time in his calendar. He believes that this practice helps them connect and maintain a strong relationship, especially during demanding seasons.

• What is Matt Chandler's perspective on living out the gospel in everyday life?

  Chandler believes that the gospel should be lived out in everyday life, not just in church. He emphasizes the importance of embracing the present moment and the unique opportunities it offers. He shares a story of a dentist in his church who is making a profound impact on the lives of a family rescued from trafficking, highlighting the power of ordinary people to make a difference.

Show Notes